Grief and Loss During Holidays and Milestones

Holidays can be a uniquely difficult time for those grieving the loss of a loved one.

You may find that grief will surface over and over, or that milestone events or holidays pull you back into your grief, or you may be surprised that grief is missing on these special days. Our grief comes in many forms and doesn’t follow a calendar.

The My Grief & Loss Booklet was created and published by our Grief and Loss Support team to offer information and guidance after the loss of a loved one. In it, they suggest the following ideas to prepare for events that remind us of them:

• Make plans that can be changed.
• Plan a distraction.
• Start a new tradition in honor of your loved one.
• Reminisce, sharing memories and stories about your relationship.
• Connect with others who have lost a loved one and ask how they got through special days and holidays.
• Ask friends and family for help and support.
• Give yourself permission to laugh and to cry.

Please remember that grief is a journey. Your grief journey is unique to you. As you grieve, remember to take care of yourself.

The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization has suggested a list of websites, podcasts, and books that offer insight and experience to those who are grieving. They are also a great resource for those who wish to support a grieving friend or loved one.

This list is not exhaustive, but we hope you find something that will help you or someone you love find comfort during the holidays.

Websites:

The Dinner Party

Modern Loss

Option B: Care for yourself & others during hardship

Center for Loss & Life Transition

What’s Your Grief

Podcasts:

“Facing Our Grief,” “You Are Not Alone,” and “Sadness Isn’t An Enemy,” All There Is with Anderson Cooper, CNN Audio

“Moving Forward” and “Heartache,” TED Radio Hour, NPR

“When Surviving Is Enough,” A Slight Change of Plans, Pushkin Industries

 What’s Your Grief

 The Art of Dying Well

 GriefCast, Cariad Lloyd

“Learning to Live After Loss,” Chasing Life with Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN Audio

“The In-Between with Hadley Vlahos,” America Dissected, Crooked Media

“How Talking About Grief Can Unite Us,” End Well Podcast

“The Grieving Brain with Mary-Frances O’Conner,” Being Well Podcast

“Episode 34 – The Hospice Doctor’s Widow & Courageous Conversations of Precious Time,” Dr. G at the Heart of Healthcare

“Why Yvette Nicole Brown Decided Honesty Is Her Superpower,” Trials to Triumph, Ashley Blaine Featherson-Jenkins

“Hui-wen Sato,” The Apologies Podcast

The Adventures of Momento Mori, D.S. Moss

Books:

• When Breath Becomes Air – Paul Kalanthi
• The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion
• The Long Goodbye – Meghan O’Rourke
• Being Mortal – Atul Gawande
• Choose a Good Death After a Long Life – Samuel Harrington, M.D.
• A Beginner’s Guide to the End – BJ Miller M.D. and Shoshana Berger
• That Good Night – Sunita Puri
• Death is But a Dream – Christopher Kerr
• Half a Life – Jill Cement
• Blue Nights – Joan Didion
• Autobiography of a Face – Lucy Grealy
• Truth and Beauty – Anne Patchett
• The Glass Eye – Jeannie Vanasco
• Final Gifts – Maggie Callahan
• Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom
• On Grief and Grieving – Elizabeth Kubler Ross
• How To Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies – Therese A Rando
• The Other Side of Sadness – George A. Bonanno
• I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye – Brooke Noel
• Bearing the Unbearable – Joanne Cacciatore, PhD
• All the Things We Don’t Talk About – Amy Feltman
• The Art of Dying Well – Katy Butler
• With the End in Mind – Kathryn Mannix
• Living at the End of Life – Karen Whitley Bell, RN
• Life After the Diagnosis – Steven Z. Pantilat, MD
• Holiday Grief to Gratitude – Dora Carpenter
• Hospice Doctor’s Widow – Jennifer A. O’Brien, MSOD
• It’s OK that You’re Not OK – Megan Devine
• The Grieving Brain – Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD
• The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments – Hadley Vlahos
• Conscious Grieving and Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief – Claire Bidwell Smith, LCPC

Hospice Care Plus is a non-profit organization supporting the quality of life of its communities through hospice, palliative, and grief and loss care programs. The organization serves Estill, Jackson, Lee, Madison, Owsley, and Rockcastle counties and owns and operates the Compassionate Care Center in Richmond. Relying on contributions from individuals and groups, all care is provided regardless of insurance status or ability to pay. To learn more, donate, or explore career and volunteer opportunities, visit hospicecareplus.org or call 859-986-1500.